I wonder why, he took you without a proper good bye?!

Sometimes I feel blessed and sometimes cursed! Sometime I feel mantled with the joys of silence and every so often in the sorrows of hubbub.

The mind has been restless whilst the heart, bleeding in the warmth of my skin. Not all relations are of the blood and not all blood is crimson.

Not all the time, life gives you a chance and when it does, it must be done.

He held me tight, he taught me how to ride. He gave me his all; he saved me many a fall.

He believed in me, his love was unconditional. The replica of my father, he was my uncle!

Like a sheltered tree on a hot summer day, and the silver lining on days so grey!

 

It did not take him to do much. He was the man of a benevolent touch.

Never missed my birthday, even once and his faith in the brilliance of life, was in abundance.

When I missed my school bus, we gave me rides on his scooter and some cookies with peanut butter.

I was looking at his picture yesterday and it made me sad. When I saw him last, he was fit and glad.  By each passing year, he seemed older, wiser and happier. Just like my dad.

And every time when I flew back leaving home for another home, I felt a  fear. A qualm, that next time one of them might not be there!

When I was little, it was easier to share a hug. When I was little, it was easy to hold those hands that make you young. Alas, only if I knew when I was little, time doesn’t stay for as long as you are little.

Today, dad sounded weak and wobbly. I felt far and further. Without him, our life will feel a wee damper.

All I will say is I wonder why, he took you without a proper good bye!

Mama, your battle is now over. Time has released and so have you. You are now my angel so spread your wings wide, and I wish you to be my guide. Just like the day , when I was a new bride !  

Tears rolling down my eyes as I say ‘ Mama Was’ because he really ‘Is’ and can never be was! We lost him to cancer and time but I am determined…

I can’t fight time , but I will fight Cancer!

You are now in the frame of our hearts and your memories are the keepsakes, with which I will never part.

Your words to me were, “Anu when you grow old, I hope you still dance, even if slowly. I hope when you grow old, you still smile even with the false tooth”

So here I am, still smiling but without you!

Mama, I will miss you but I know you are somewhere very near!

All I will say is I wonder why, he took you without a proper good bye!

You will be thought with love today and always and I know you will look after me from heaven’s hallways!

Lots of love, I will miss you forever- Mama !

(‘cuz we called each other Mama, some odd reason, some odd love)

Who is Mama ?

I called him Mama’cuz he was my mum’s adopted, but bigger than best brother ever. And in ‘Hindi’, Mama means maternal uncle. He called me Mama too, I don’t know why ! But it was his way of loving me and I liked it very much. Every ‘Mama’ plays an important role in our culture, he was the one , that I had never had. He was a freind, a role model and my family’s support ! He was the ‘Uncle Sam’ !

He was one of the very few ‘greatest yet humble’ men I have known in my life. He doesn’t need a poem or flowery words to describe him, he was a man of sincerity, love, care, promise and humbleness. The reason I call him greatest is not because he was the richest , very famous or most successful, but because he was what most of us just forget to be ! If I can be half as good as him, I will be happy. He was kind, simple, honest and helpful and that he was every minute of his life not just one day when he is happy or excited!

He lived much of his life for others and most importantly he is the greatest to me because he stood by my side every time, unsaid. Starting when mum needed a school admission form for me and dad was away on a tour, or when I needed a school drop, when I failed in maths or when I had a boyfriend issue and dad wasn’t convinced, he was there. When dad was in the hospital, when dad came out with metal rods in both his legs, when I got married, and then again when my dad in law was in the hospital, you name a time and he was there. He was his self not just to me and the family but to everyone he new. He was a man of love and he was loved for what he was!

He was my dad’s best friend, my mum’s brother and to me he was and will always be my dad’s shadow !

I will always wish good for the family and I know he will look after them from up above.

Anu

3 comments

  1. Reblogged this on The Doodle Scoop and commented:

    This is especial, in rememberance of someone I loved dearly but I could not bid goodbye! Today I lost him to cancer and to time ! I am determined to fight, can’t fight time but we can fight Cancer!
    Mama – I will miss you but I know you will be near somewhere.

    Like

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